an impromptu list

a friend of me sent me this chain list thing on face book. you're supposed to list 25 things about yourself, but i kinda just kept going. thought i would reproduce it here.

1. I despise chain emails
2. I was a stripper (very briefly)
3. I have an OCD about my hands
4. I love sleeping, but have a hard time falling asleep.
5. I have been playing guitar for 18 years (on and off)
6. I play guitar, piano, bass, drums, and have even dabbled with trombone
7. My first bf was 16, I was 19
8. He seduced me.
9. His parents found us asleep together.
10. My first job was as a fry cook
11. I was fired from my second job for stealing (I didn't do it-long story)
12. The first time I kissed a boy was behind a church.
13. I am moderately ambidextrous
14. I have tried to read moby dick 5 times.
15. I was in a church band.
16. I speak 5 languages other than english, I am fluent in none of them (I can read 6)
17. I enjoy obscure terms.
18. History is my favourite subject.
19. I am listed on IMDB.
20. My 'first time' was in the woods.
21. I have spelled colour with a 'u' since college.
22. I bite my nails.
23. I have 9 pins and 2 plates in my left leg (I was rejected from the navy for this reason).
24. I am a hopeless romantic.
25. I love being lost.
26. My favourite word, ironically, is quim.
27. I am attracted to intelligence.
28. I used to play chess over the phone.
29. I didn't own a computer until I was 24.
30. I prefer stick shift to automatic because of the sound of the engine.
31. Three of my top 10 movies of all time were released in 1995.
32. I once worked at a bathhouse.
33. I love hockey, but I cannot ice skate.
34. I despise running.
35. Soccer is my fav sport to play.
36. I am slightly pigeon-toed.
37. Until I was 17, I wanted to be a writer.
38. I got some poetry published in high school.
39. I wrote and directed 2 plays
40. I am a voracious reader
41. My favourite movie is 'street of crocodiles' by the bros. quay.
42. I drown once when I was 6 (woke up on the beach while they were doing CPR).
43. I love swimming.
44. My favourite book is ender's game (i have read it a minimum of 10 times)
45. I never capitalize my name.
46. I prefer lowercase letters, but my handwriting is mostly caps.
47. I was very nearly given up for adoption as a newborn.
48. My best friend and i have known each other for 28 years.
49. I am too lazy to think of 50 things, but egocentric enough to come up with 49.

an ode

just around halloween someone that i knew, a friend, an old enemy took his own life. it sort of gurgled around inside of me for a while until it ended up coming out one day while i was just messing w/my guitar. i know it doesn't rhyme, but the idea was to just get it out of my head. from there i can always revise. this was written all at the same time, over a 20 minute period. maybe i'll publish the 2nd version as a follow-up.

an ode

why is it, after the fact
that i call you my friend?
why is it, after the fact
now that you're gone?

all those silver linings
never showed up
and you didn't know
what to do.

sharp tongue and a
sharper mind
and that chinstrap beard
why leave us all high and dry
and wondering why?

i heard there was a
sad parade
of all the friends
you didn't think you had

so, why would the
smartest motherfucker that i know
do something to become
a past tense?

so i guess there comes a time
when we all get that call
the one that punches us,
throws us up against the wall.

why is it, after the fact
that i call you my friend?
why is it, after the fact
now that you're gone?

........and....we're back

over the last few months, in truth, the better part of a year, a lot has changed and i have been wavering back and forth about returning to writing blog entries. i have always felt that there is something personal about writing journal style, but there is something intrinsically exhibitionist about writing a journal that others can read. i'm too lazy to write 2 of them, one public, one private, so i have neglected both.

i have started re-establishing contact with people that i have not spoken to in a long time, i guess the wheel comes 'round every once in a while. i sent the link to this blog to a friend in a vain attempt to catch her up on what i have been doing over the last few years, but found that it is explicit in some areas and deficit in others.

in the hopeful spirit this post-inauguration world, i am re-dedicating myself to this blog. using this public space, though it is only my little corner of the interweb to bounce ideas off of people and hopefully get some feedback on some of them so that i can reshape and refine them.

i may even use spell-check, but don't get your hopes up.

so, here goes.............